…and I was extremely heart-broken because I had to wait until the 3rd game for the maleShep/Kaidan romance to surface just for it to be taken away by the ending. Kaidan was so happy to have found someone:
He finally worked up the courage to come to my room for drinks and sex and then we headed off for the final battle in the morning. All during our last full conversation and last kiss, all you can imagine is Kaidan trying not to cry (I’m crying enough for the both of us just watching it):
After the last battle, I just leave. Kaidan can’t come with me and I’m left with the saddest, most heart-wrenching Kaidan faces:
And then we finally say the words I’ve been waiting the entire series to hear:
And then I don’t come back. There is no option where Kaidan isn’t going to be fucked over by the decisions I’m forced to make. It killed me that Kaidan wasted all of ME2 hating me for being with Cerberus when I didn’t want Shepard to be with Cerberus either and now he will always be hanging up my name on the dead people wall, no matter how much I want Kaidan to live a long, happy life with maleShep:
Lots of internet posts call him whiny and kill him off in ME1, but I don’t think I can play it again and not choose Kaidan (Where are the real-world Kaidans? Why can’t I find a guy like that?). Apart from being one of only two men maleShep can romance, I don’t think anyone else shares as much of a deep connection with Shepard as Kaidan does (this person knows what I’m talking about —> http://venturebeat.com/2013/02/25/the-right-choice-in-mass-effect-kaiden-alenko/). This couple, prematurely ripped apart, has left me so emotionally raw, I feel cheated; I mean so much for all that “have hope” stuff we’ve been hearing throughout all three games. I can’t give Kaidan what he wants for longer than a day or spare him the resulting heartbreak because Shepard is not allowed to survive the ending (forget the so-called “perfect ending”; that was a cop-out of being completely heartless). There seems to be a pattern for gay characters in games/movies/shows - they never get the “happy ending,” at least not in the way straight characters (more often than not) get to experience (guy meets girl, loves girl, loses girl, gets girl back, lives happily ever after with girl). I think you deserved better Kaidan.
Maybe after playing like 12 other games (to distance myself from this sad, sad ending), I can pretend my next ME playthrough with end with Kaidan’s “chance to hold Shepard again.”